Pardon Us

If Trump can pardon that buffoon Sheriff Joe, we can do the same for the following:

MARTIN GARCIA: We don’t know why people are so up in arms about his ride aboard Baffert’s firster Nero – He didn’t do anything.

It may have actually been a plus that this well-regarded colt lost his first start, especially if he hopes to follow in the giant footsteps of Arrogate and American Pharoah, who did the exact same thing under Garcia.

We pardon you, Martin. That said, you’re on your own with the white-haired fellow.

ZICONIC: We haven’t seen such a beating on social media since that guy put up video of himself feeding live hamsters to his pet python. We hereby pardon you Ziconic and suggest a trip up the road to Golden Gate where Zenyatta’s son just might find a barrel of fish to shoot.

MADELINE AUERBACH AND GEORGE KRIKORIAN: Being a member of the CHRB is a thankless task and we have an appreciation for those who serve, but at the most recent meeting Auerbach and Krikorian were a little too transparent.

For Krikorian it came after he commented how he had several young turf horses and then asked Santa Anita why they didn’t have turf races for young horses, while Auerbach somehow took a discussion/vote on minimums for jockey suspicions to how they could negatively affect owners.

Because we feel both commissioners do a fine job overall, a pardon is in order.

TREVOR DENMAN: Nick Alexander went to the trouble to breed a horse and name it for the LA Dodgers’ Yasiel Puig, but somehow Trevor managed to pronounce it so it rhymed with the word Quiche.

We understand Denman is calling the races this summer at Del Mar under trying circumstances as he mends a badly bad broken leg, but the fact remains that Michael Wrona and Frank Miramadi would have had the correct pronunciation as the result of either already knowing it, looking it up on the web or contacting Alexander. They also would have no doubt thrown in a baseball reference at some point during the race.

Trevor, you revolutionized racecalling and have raised the hair on the back on our necks like nobody since Harry Henson, so we pardon you. (Like you really care if we do or not).

THE 3-YEAR-OLD CROP OF 2017: The only brilliant performance we’ve seen this year from a sophomore male on the dirt came from Mastery in his seasonal debut in the San Felipe, and that elation lasted for about a half-dozen steps past the wire.

The Triple Crown race winners have gone down in flames following those scores and if we had a vote and it had to be cast right now, it would go to West Coast who beat them all last weekend in the Travers. We’d also have no problem with anybody who wanted to think outside the dirt box and go with Oscar Performance. No pardon is needed here.

BILL SPAWR: This one really saddens us, as the veteran conditioner is one of the most beloved members of the backside and currently trains the Breeders’ Cup bound Cinderella mare Skye Diamonds

Unfortunately, a clenbuterol overage is sending him on a 30-day forced vacation, and it ironically came in the one race Skye Diamonds has lost this year. Pardon.

SARATOGA: If Trump ever gets a load of a crowd shot from the upstate New York track, it’s 1-5 that’s where he holds his next rally. We pardon the upstate New York track for being so reverse of diverse.

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ratzkym@yahoo.com @TashmanMortyS