Now We Get It

Horseplayers have a lot in common with that guy who got dragged off the United flight – they’re bruised, battered and bloodied.

The difference is, they can’t wait to come back the next day.

“It’s a very interesting phenomenon and something we’ve been studying here for the last four years,” said Dr. Victor Ehrlich, head of the neurology department at the University of Kentucky.

“We’ve discovered that horseplayers have one important thing in common – they have trouble producing anzemyne, which sends signals to the part of the brain that has to do with pleasure.

“The most fascinating thing we’ve learned is that while placing a winning bet on a horserace helps produce anzemyne, placing a losing bet sends even more to the pleasure center of the brain.

“This may explain why horseplayers are willing to put up with things like high takeout rates, poor rides and questionable inquiries, yet still come back for more.”

Dr. Ehrlich revealed there is only one other group that has more trouble producing anzemyne and must go to even greater lengths to achieve it.

“That would be racehorse owners,” he said.

That explains quite a bit, Doctor.

***

As of this writing, it appears Bob Baffert may not have a starter in the Kentucky Derby.

It’s hard to feel sorry for a guy who recently won the Triple Crown with American Pharoah and currently trains Horse of the World Arrogate, however.

The last time we checked, all 20 point earners for the Derby last raced in the correct silks, but there’s still the Arkansas Derby and Lexington this weekend, so there’s always hope on that front.

***

ratzkym@yahoo.com @TashmanMortyS