Eagerly Awaited Results

Coming up next week is what promises to be a great Breeders’ Cup, followed three days later by probably the worst Presidential election in the history of this country.

With all due respect to the late, great George Carlin, we now present Baseball/Football Clinton/Trump for your consideration:

Donald would have you believe he is as all-American as baseball, cue mom and the apple pie.

Hillary is more like football, running behind a Clinton machine that is as fearsome as any NFL foursome.

Trump often wears a baseball cap saying “Make America Great Again”, as if it isn’t great right now.

Hillary needs a football helmet to deflect all those leaked e-mails.

Trump would have you believe the vile mainstream media treats Hillary’s mistakes as errors and his as 15-yard penalties.

Trump’s reliever is Mike (Aroldis Chapman) Pence, while Hillary’s back-up quarterback is Tim (Jared Goff) Kaine. In other words, not even close.

Trump would have you believe it’s the bottom of the ninth with two outs, America is losing and we need him to come to the plate, while Hillary tells us we’re not only winning, but it’s first and goal on the 5-yard line.

Thanks to his own words on a hot mic and the testimony of 11 women (and counting), we know Donald likes to get to first and sometimes even second base with the ladies, whether they want it or not. By the way, when it comes to whom to believe, we believe the Donald Trump who was talking to Billy Bush on that bus.

Trump has Russia stealing signs for his team, while Hillary is poised to throw from the pocket with the Justice Department and the FBI protecting her from those rushers.

Some aren’t willing to give Trump a base on balls for not releasing his tax returns, while there are some others who think Hillary was at least partially responsible for putting Vince Foster in the end zone.

Those Trump supporters are as obnoxious as Cubbie fans, while Hillary’s faithful remind us of those people who actually pay money to see the San Francisco 49ers play these days.

When this election is over, Trump will be just like the ballplayer who hits one over the left-field fence – he’s headed home. Meanwhile, it’s Hillaryinthehouse, and God help us all.

History will likely show that Donald Trump’s presidential run was a bunt, while Hillary’s victory was the equivalent of a football game that ended in a 6-3 score.

No question the results of the Breeders’ Cup will be much more satisfying.

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ratzkym@yahoo.com @TashmanMortyS